I love my religion AND gay people

I am truly saddened by all the hate and anger going on right now. Why is it that in upholding some people's rights others are oppressed? For example, in order to accommodate people who are atheists, why is it that God is being forced out of things that have been in place since the Declaration of Independence was signed? I am proud to say that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I fully support President Packer and what he said in his talk. But should I be blasted by hate for it as is being done to others? By saying that does it mean that I don't love people who just happen to be gay? I should hope not. I've had many good friends who are gay and I love them all. In fact I have found that gay people can be some of the most tolerant and nice people I have ever met. But that doesn't mean that my voice should be oppressed because my views may offend someone else. I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But I also believe that we all have a choice in this life and we all should do what makes us happy. People have different views on what will make them happy in this life, and they should be left to choose their own way.

I will not say that I have never been judgmental or unfair in my lifetime. We all have, no matter what our situation is. But I have never gone and been intentionally cruel and angry toward someone because they express their views, and it makes me sad that others are doing that to us. One thing I've noticed, and I'm aware that there are exceptions. Most of the anger and intolerance are coming from those not of the LDS faith. I've been viewing much of the comments online and most of the comments from the LDS members are of supporting the leaders of our faith and stating our love for those we know who are gay. Much of the intolerance I've been seeing is coming from those who profess themselves to be open-minded. If that is the case, then why can't they be open-minded enough to let us be? We are not condemning anyone! Elder Packer stated the views of our religion, which have NEVER changed, and that was all. So where is all this hate coming from? I just hope people who profess to believe that everyone deserves to be happy will be able to recognize OUR rights to be happy as well and let us be.

Here is the link to the official statement made by the Church about the reaction and ridiculous accusations toward the church. I hope people will read it and realize that we are a church of love, not hate and condemnation.

http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction

Sodom and Gomorrah?

I'm sitting on the couch, it's Saturday morning, and Tori wants to listen to the "dance song" she likes so much. The song is "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. So I turn it on. While I'm listening to the lyrics I realize just how much that song describes the level society has sunk to. It's about a girl who drinks so much that she can't find her keys or her phone and she can't remember the name of the club she's at. But that's ok, just dance. It'll be ok, just keep dancing. That's how the world is today. It doesn't matter what you do, life is to have fun. Our society is all about self-indulgence. What makes ME happy is what I'm going to stick with, to hell with the consequences. Granted, before I offend anyone, I'm speaking of society in general, not individuals. And even those who may be offended by this have to admit that society is falling. Our children's role models these days are people who's lives revolve around sex, drugs and materialistic things. A.K.A. movie stars and singers. Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber...what is it about these people that makes them so amazing to the younger generation? I certainly can't think of anything. They're selfish creatures and they encompass everything that this world considers "great". When there are articles in magazines, is there ever anything about people who actually make a difference in a good way? Well, I suppose it depends on which magazine you read. But mostly, no. It's all about who she's sleeping with, who cheated on who, what she was seen buying in the store the other day, etc. "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and in doing good to all men. Indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul. We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and we hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything LOVELY, VIRTUOUS OR OF GOOD REPORT OR PRAISEWORTHY, WE SEEK AFTER THESE THINGS." I don't see many things these days that are lovely, virtuous, of good report or praiseworthy.

I am not saying that I'm infallible. In fact, just the opposite. I'm not standing on a millstone judging the world. Lol, have you seen my multiple purses? Have you seen my expensive makeup addiction? Still, it wasn't until I was listening to that song...letting my FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER listen to it, that I realized just how far I've fallen myself. Needless to say, I immediately turned off Lady Gaga and turned on High School Musical. This world is scary, and the last thing I need to do is bring more of it into my home to influence my daughter!

We are supposed to be different, stand out from the rest of the world and I must say, the gap between the people of God and those who simply claim to be is growing wider and wider. Notice I didn't say LDS people. There are LDS people who simply play the role and there are non-LDS people who live the gospel better sometimes than those who have it. My challenge is to not allow the world, that great and abominable church (because self-indulgence truly has become a religion for some) to overtake me. I must cling to that which I KNOW is of good report and praiseworthy, or I WILL fall. I hope you will join me.

The face of innocence

Antiques according to Tori

A conversation that took place last night between Tori and my dad about a chair that once belonged to my great-grandmother.

Dad: "Tori, be careful with that chair, it's an antique."

Tori: "What's an antique?"

Dad: "It's something really, really old."

After thinking about that for a second Tori replies,

"Nana's an antique."



My poor mother.

Lake Powell and homecoming!!

My family has been at Lake Powell for the past week. It's been absolutely wonderful having the house to myself and being able to take naps at night which I haven't been able to do in years! And, as other mothers can understand, the first few days I didn't miss her at all! I was too busy enjoying my freedom! But by the fourth day, I was a little lonely. Somewhere around the fifth or sixth day I actually went in her room and smelled her pillow because it smelled like her! Sad and pathetic. I talked to her twice on the phone. Well, that might be overstating it a little for the first time I TRIED. Mom called me and tried to get Tori to say hi, and all I heard when the phone was pressed her her ear was "No way" over and over. Lol, little brat. But the second time she talked to me and told me about water skiing (during which she stood up!!) and the fish she caught with papa. In her words, "it was humongous". I love hearing her little voice say that word! When she said it I suddenly realized that she used it last year at Powell too but then didn't use it much at home, and then picked it up again this year! We'll see if it sticks. So anyway, they got home last night and I raced to the door to get her out when they pulled up, and she gave me the best present ever. She had a huge smile on her face and said "Mommy!" Then she put her little arms around my neck and held on tight. My baby missed me! That made me so happy. She cuddled me for awhile, and then went up to her room to play. While she was going potty she looked at me, smiled and said, "I'm so happy to be home so I can listen to Cowboy Cas" LOL!! Her favorite song right now is Cowboy Casanova. She just makes me laugh. Then, that night when we were kneeling down for her prayer before bed, she wormed her way into my lap, hugged my arm and said "I'm glad to be home Mommy. I love you." Oh man, talk about a heart melter.

I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!!!!!

Daddy's visit and the beginning of school

Well, the visit went better than I ever could have hoped for! Friday, Saturday and Sunday Tori was all over having a Daddy and it showed in the way she constantly said Daddy whenever she was talking to him. It was so cute. Monday, however, she started shutting herself off emotionally. It was really sad to watch her "not care" so that it wouldn't hurt so badly when he left. I know it was just as hard, if not harder, for him to leave. But he'll be back and this is the beginning of a great relationship. I'm really excited for her to gain this and also to gain a relationship with a whole new extended family! She needs some of that black culture in her life! :-)

So now the visit is over and it's time to focus on the beginning of school! I can't believe my baby is starting Kindergarten! I'm going to be a crybaby on her first day of school, I just know it. So next month we're going to have to start shopping for school supplies and a new school outfit. Oh dear...I'm not ready for this!

Update!

So I know I promised an update the day I spoke with the psychologist, but things kept happening so I decided to wait until everything was figured out and I could say for certain what was going to happen! I spoke with Dr. Marsh on Thursday last week and I must say, I think it was worth the $130 (ouch). She brought up many things I hadn't thought about and also affirmed things that I'd already planned on doing. One thing she brought up was that Tori is starting kindergarten this year. I already knew this of course, but what I hadn't thought about was that that is a HUGE change in her life! She'll be going from an in-home preschool with only 7 other kids to a classroom with around 20 other kids in a school with hundreds of older kids! Joseph was planning on coming out in August but she said he should definitely come out earlier so that she can handle those two things separately. Otherwise she'd probably get really stressed out and that would come out in her behavior since she won't know any other way to express what she's feeling. So he is now coming out over the 4th of July weekend. He'll be here until that Monday afternoon. I feel this is a good thing. I'm telling her this weekend so that she has time to process and ask all her little questions before he comes out. It'll probably be a roller coaster I'm sure, but I think it'll be worth it in the long run.

Dr. Marsh also said that once I tell her there needs to be a lot of contact between her and Joseph. Phone calls, webcamming, letters, etc. She needs to have a connection before they meet in person. Fortunately I have pictures of the two of them as well as the three of us from when she was a tiny baby so I can use those to connect her to him and I'm planning on putting those pictures into a photo album for her. So wish me luck! I'll blog next week after it all goes down! Thank you to everyone for your support!!

The time has come...

...to tell Tori about her father. I'm a little nervous, but I know it's for the best. Especially because she thinks that MY dad is her dad. One because we call him dad and two, well, because she doesn't understand biology. Which is perfectly fine with me!! So tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a child psychologist Tori's pediatrician recommended so I can get her feedback on how this will affect her at this stage in her development and also what I can expect in the future. Tori's dad is planning on coming out and visiting in August which is the other factor in my deciding to tell her now. She should know who her father is when he comes out to visit. I've already kind of introduced her to him. He's called and they've spoken on the phone. She knows him as "Joseph, Mommy's friend". So we'll see how it goes. I was thinking maybe I should wait to tell her until it's closer to when he comes out, but (and this is something I'll discuss with the psychologist) I think it might be better if she has time to process everything. It'll be interesting to see how this progresses, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. Joseph and I have been communicating for awhile now, and I'm getting positive feelings about him becoming involved in her life. I'm not worried about him pushing for more custody or anything. He's told me that he wouldn't push me to let her go live with him for the while summer or anything, that he'd probably just want to take her on vacation with him for like 2 weeks or something. This would, of course, be a long way from now when she's older and knows him well. But anyway, I'll blog tomorrow afternoon or Friday and let ya'll know how it goes!!

In other news, here are a few pictures. Monday night my dad was so cute, he went into the living room and sat down and played Barbies with Tori for about 15 minutes. It was better than any FHE. She absolutely loved it!!