Some thoughts from September 11th.

“Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “ - President George W. Bush

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the day we, as a nation, gained an intimate relationship with terrorism. For the first time in 50 years, an unprovoked attack was performed on US soil killing thousands. No one who was old enough to have this memory will ever forget where we were when we heard the news. We'll never forget hearing the terrified screams as the news cameras caught the second tower being struck live. Or watching the towers fall with thousands still inside. We pulled together as a nation in tears, prayers and national pride. Yes, we knew fear. We knew fear as we had never known it before. But our unfailing pride in our country prevailed. We watched proudly as our young men signed up to protect us and were shipped off to fight for what we stand for. Freedom. Freedom to live WITHOUT fear. But then we forgot what they were fighting for. We forgot about that unity and once again became divided. I am ashamed of those who went so far in protesting this war, the war that WE DID NOT START, that people forgot the troops. The men and women who were overseas fighting for us! How dare we lessen what they were sacrificing by saying it was a pointless battle? That what they were doing wasn't worthwhile? No matter how the war was viewed, the military should never have become a part of that battle.

Yesterday I was sick. It probably contributed to how emotional I became, I don't know. I was sitting in a chair, crying, while I watched the programs dedicated to 9/11/2001. Tori was home with me and she kept coming up, touching my face, asking me why I was crying. What could I tell her? I told her, between sobs, that before she was born there were some bad people who came over and killed a lot of people. She responded by saying they were "stupid people and I hate them". Hearing her say that made me sit back and think. Were these really bad people? Hear me out for a moment. Yes, they killed thousands of Americans, and that was a despicable act. But what had they surely been taught from infancy? They had been taught to hate. These men who may have had families and children gave up EVERYTHING for this hate. What if we had never been taught anything else but that the Iraqi nation was full of devils, weren't even human, and it was our obligation to cleanse the earth of their evil? Granted, I really don't know much about their religion or what they were actually taught, but I can't imagine that an extremist would be taught anything differently. What we need to wipe from this earth is NOT people. What we need to wipe from this world is HATE. That's where all of this started! If we didn't hate each other would we still want to kill each other? My response to Tori was that we shouldn't hate them. We should never hate anyone. We need to pray for them. Yes, I said it. Pray for those who want to kill us. Pray for the souls of people who would do something this horrendous because their souls are in eternal jeopardy. We can't judge them. We don't know what kind of lives they had and what their parents taught them. All this was going around and around in my head yesterday after this conversation I'd had with my impressionable young daughter.

Then something happened. We were continuing to watch this program and when it came back from commercial they did a quick recap of what happened that day. They showed the footage of the planes, the screaming, the horror. All I could do was clap a hand over my mouth while tears streamed down my face. Then an American flag was shown on screen and my sweet and beautiful daughter started saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under GOD, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." My heart swelled at that moment with pride, hope and love. That's what it's all about. I gave her a hug and we put our hands over our hearts and recited the pledge again. All of a sudden I had hope. If we can spread this love and pride in what our nation stands for, we WILL survive this. God bless America. God bless the victims of this tragedy. God bless us all.

Are we prepared?

I received some devastating news this morning. An amazing woman named Aryn Hendrickson-Godfrey died yesterday from a horrific car accident in Texas. It happened in a matter of seconds. One minute she was here, and the next minute an angel had carried her and her unborn child away from us. As I sit here, my eyes burning from the many tears shed today, I have to take a step back and realize that it could easily have been me. How many times have I sat waiting to either turn left or make a U-turn, taking for granted that cars coming up behind me will have enough sense to stop before rear ending me? How many times have I almost gotten in an accident and managed to avoid it? Too many to count. We need to be ready; we need to be prepared to die tonight so that if it really did happen, we wouldn't be leaving behind regrets. Things we left undone. So go home tonight and hold your family close. Tell them how much you love them. Call that friend you've been in a fight with and tell them it doesn't matter and you love them no matter what. Because tomorrow you might not have another chance. If God wants to call us home, we might not have an opportunity to prepare to be taken from this life into the next. I'm going home tonight and I'm going to hold my daughter close to my heart and thank God that I am able to do so.

RIP Aryn. I love you forever and we will miss you so much.

I love my religion AND gay people

I am truly saddened by all the hate and anger going on right now. Why is it that in upholding some people's rights others are oppressed? For example, in order to accommodate people who are atheists, why is it that God is being forced out of things that have been in place since the Declaration of Independence was signed? I am proud to say that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I fully support President Packer and what he said in his talk. But should I be blasted by hate for it as is being done to others? By saying that does it mean that I don't love people who just happen to be gay? I should hope not. I've had many good friends who are gay and I love them all. In fact I have found that gay people can be some of the most tolerant and nice people I have ever met. But that doesn't mean that my voice should be oppressed because my views may offend someone else. I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But I also believe that we all have a choice in this life and we all should do what makes us happy. People have different views on what will make them happy in this life, and they should be left to choose their own way.

I will not say that I have never been judgmental or unfair in my lifetime. We all have, no matter what our situation is. But I have never gone and been intentionally cruel and angry toward someone because they express their views, and it makes me sad that others are doing that to us. One thing I've noticed, and I'm aware that there are exceptions. Most of the anger and intolerance are coming from those not of the LDS faith. I've been viewing much of the comments online and most of the comments from the LDS members are of supporting the leaders of our faith and stating our love for those we know who are gay. Much of the intolerance I've been seeing is coming from those who profess themselves to be open-minded. If that is the case, then why can't they be open-minded enough to let us be? We are not condemning anyone! Elder Packer stated the views of our religion, which have NEVER changed, and that was all. So where is all this hate coming from? I just hope people who profess to believe that everyone deserves to be happy will be able to recognize OUR rights to be happy as well and let us be.

Here is the link to the official statement made by the Church about the reaction and ridiculous accusations toward the church. I hope people will read it and realize that we are a church of love, not hate and condemnation.

http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction

Sodom and Gomorrah?

I'm sitting on the couch, it's Saturday morning, and Tori wants to listen to the "dance song" she likes so much. The song is "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. So I turn it on. While I'm listening to the lyrics I realize just how much that song describes the level society has sunk to. It's about a girl who drinks so much that she can't find her keys or her phone and she can't remember the name of the club she's at. But that's ok, just dance. It'll be ok, just keep dancing. That's how the world is today. It doesn't matter what you do, life is to have fun. Our society is all about self-indulgence. What makes ME happy is what I'm going to stick with, to hell with the consequences. Granted, before I offend anyone, I'm speaking of society in general, not individuals. And even those who may be offended by this have to admit that society is falling. Our children's role models these days are people who's lives revolve around sex, drugs and materialistic things. A.K.A. movie stars and singers. Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber...what is it about these people that makes them so amazing to the younger generation? I certainly can't think of anything. They're selfish creatures and they encompass everything that this world considers "great". When there are articles in magazines, is there ever anything about people who actually make a difference in a good way? Well, I suppose it depends on which magazine you read. But mostly, no. It's all about who she's sleeping with, who cheated on who, what she was seen buying in the store the other day, etc. "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous and in doing good to all men. Indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul. We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and we hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything LOVELY, VIRTUOUS OR OF GOOD REPORT OR PRAISEWORTHY, WE SEEK AFTER THESE THINGS." I don't see many things these days that are lovely, virtuous, of good report or praiseworthy.

I am not saying that I'm infallible. In fact, just the opposite. I'm not standing on a millstone judging the world. Lol, have you seen my multiple purses? Have you seen my expensive makeup addiction? Still, it wasn't until I was listening to that song...letting my FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER listen to it, that I realized just how far I've fallen myself. Needless to say, I immediately turned off Lady Gaga and turned on High School Musical. This world is scary, and the last thing I need to do is bring more of it into my home to influence my daughter!

We are supposed to be different, stand out from the rest of the world and I must say, the gap between the people of God and those who simply claim to be is growing wider and wider. Notice I didn't say LDS people. There are LDS people who simply play the role and there are non-LDS people who live the gospel better sometimes than those who have it. My challenge is to not allow the world, that great and abominable church (because self-indulgence truly has become a religion for some) to overtake me. I must cling to that which I KNOW is of good report and praiseworthy, or I WILL fall. I hope you will join me.

The face of innocence

Antiques according to Tori

A conversation that took place last night between Tori and my dad about a chair that once belonged to my great-grandmother.

Dad: "Tori, be careful with that chair, it's an antique."

Tori: "What's an antique?"

Dad: "It's something really, really old."

After thinking about that for a second Tori replies,

"Nana's an antique."



My poor mother.

Lake Powell and homecoming!!

My family has been at Lake Powell for the past week. It's been absolutely wonderful having the house to myself and being able to take naps at night which I haven't been able to do in years! And, as other mothers can understand, the first few days I didn't miss her at all! I was too busy enjoying my freedom! But by the fourth day, I was a little lonely. Somewhere around the fifth or sixth day I actually went in her room and smelled her pillow because it smelled like her! Sad and pathetic. I talked to her twice on the phone. Well, that might be overstating it a little for the first time I TRIED. Mom called me and tried to get Tori to say hi, and all I heard when the phone was pressed her her ear was "No way" over and over. Lol, little brat. But the second time she talked to me and told me about water skiing (during which she stood up!!) and the fish she caught with papa. In her words, "it was humongous". I love hearing her little voice say that word! When she said it I suddenly realized that she used it last year at Powell too but then didn't use it much at home, and then picked it up again this year! We'll see if it sticks. So anyway, they got home last night and I raced to the door to get her out when they pulled up, and she gave me the best present ever. She had a huge smile on her face and said "Mommy!" Then she put her little arms around my neck and held on tight. My baby missed me! That made me so happy. She cuddled me for awhile, and then went up to her room to play. While she was going potty she looked at me, smiled and said, "I'm so happy to be home so I can listen to Cowboy Cas" LOL!! Her favorite song right now is Cowboy Casanova. She just makes me laugh. Then, that night when we were kneeling down for her prayer before bed, she wormed her way into my lap, hugged my arm and said "I'm glad to be home Mommy. I love you." Oh man, talk about a heart melter.

I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!!!!!

Daddy's visit and the beginning of school

Well, the visit went better than I ever could have hoped for! Friday, Saturday and Sunday Tori was all over having a Daddy and it showed in the way she constantly said Daddy whenever she was talking to him. It was so cute. Monday, however, she started shutting herself off emotionally. It was really sad to watch her "not care" so that it wouldn't hurt so badly when he left. I know it was just as hard, if not harder, for him to leave. But he'll be back and this is the beginning of a great relationship. I'm really excited for her to gain this and also to gain a relationship with a whole new extended family! She needs some of that black culture in her life! :-)

So now the visit is over and it's time to focus on the beginning of school! I can't believe my baby is starting Kindergarten! I'm going to be a crybaby on her first day of school, I just know it. So next month we're going to have to start shopping for school supplies and a new school outfit. Oh dear...I'm not ready for this!